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Is “God” the winner?... “God” Gets Junk Mail Too! (This is a true story)

Can you imagine even “God” gets one of those gold-sticker-laden sweepstakes entry forms and magazine sales pitches. No doubt, you have received a sweepstakes notice at some time from American Family Publishers. You know how it works. You look over their magazine bargains -- and the chance to buy a few for your home, office, or waiting room. In return, they give you the opportunity to win large amounts of money.

On about February 1997 American Family Publishers sent its computer-generated form letter to the Bushnell Assembly of God, a church located in Central Florida. The computer somehow twisted the name of the church and a sweepstakes notice addressed to "God of Bushnell" was sent to the church.

The letter read, “Dear God, we’re searching for you. You’ve been positively identified as our $11,000,000 mystery millionaire”. The letter went on to say, "What an incredible fortune there would be for God! Imagine the looks you'd get from neighbors. But don't just sit there, God, come forward now and claim your prize!" Of course, the fine print said the Creator was merely a finalist, but a letter with the entry form lured him to try his luck. The church’s Minister said that he had not yet decided whether the church would enter the sweepstakes. God has $11 million already he said.

The other 20 Million recipients of that letter might as well give up tiring to win because we all know who has the edge here!

From Anonymous Sources:

  • “Just about the time you make both ends meet, somebody moves the ends.”
  • IRS… “We have this new 1040EZ-2-do form Line 1…“ How much did you make?” Line 2… “OK - give it all to us!”
  • “To figure the cost of living, just take your total income and add 10 percent.”
  • “ I can’t be overdrawn . . . I still have checks.”
  • “Do you know how to save gasoline money? Just half fill the gas tank!”
  • A professor at a prestigious University of taxation delivers a highly detailed, brilliant lecture drawing the distinction between tax avoidance and tax evasion. When she completed the lecture she asked the brightest student, "Tell us briefly what the difference is between tax avoidance and tax evasion." The student replies: "Jail."

Financial Oxymoron’s

  • Alternative Minimum Tax
  • Budget deficit
  • Cash surplus
  • Free with purchase
  • Great depression
  • Huge market niche
  • Nonworking mother
  • Savings & loan
  • Social Security
  • Tax Return
  • Temporary tax increase

 

 

   
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